'Calgary Stab-pede' merch already sold out

The Onion Film Standard: ‘28 Years Later’

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White Sox Fans Asked To Remove Polish Sausage From Mouths During National Anthem

Milwaukee Removes Fonzie Statue Amid Reckoning With Greaser Past

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How to get that middle-aged, two-pints-from-violence Oasis fan look: A guide for the young

France vs Rwanda: Which will stop the boats?

The Archbishop of Canterbury on… RIP Jimmy Swaggart, man of God but mostly prostitutes

F**k you! We're off on a term-time holiday

6Music always jizzing its pants about bullshit

Joe Lycett's queer beer

Bill Burr plays drums with The Pretenders

Larry David to make a history-based sketch show

Tim Minchin joins Celebrity Gogglebox

Tim Vine makes an Elvis movie

Poilievre worried there won't be enough government left for him to cut

Awesome: The American Optometric Association Has Announced That Eye Floaters Are Just Little Friends Coming To Say Hello

Another Near-Disaster: Newark Airport Has Revealed That A Flight’s Entire Crew And Passengers Took Off This Morning Without Their Plane

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lorde

Pam Bondi: ‘What Is The DOJ Hiding?’

Something Forbidden Stirs Deep Within Trump After He Sees Political Cartoon Depicting Him As Chicken

Lack Of Concrete Dinner Plans Leaves Power Vacuum Filled By Radical Pro-Tapas Fanatics

Dad Spends Retirement Untangling Big Mess Of Wires

Texas Politicians Used Burner Email To Request FEMA Funds

Why nobody must be punished for the Post Office scandal, by anyone in any kind of power

A practical guide to claiming all those lovely benefits it's so easy to get