Local grandparents Bob and Mary Pritchard have been forced to confront the reality of their pre-internet lifestyle, after their twelve-year-old granddaughter Molly asked how people used to “fill the empty silence before TikTok”.

“Well… we found ways to keep busy,” 74-year-old Bob said, at a pre-Christmas lunch attended by seventeen of his children.

“With, like hobbies?” Molly asked.

“Sort of,” Bob replied. “Repetitive hobbies. People made their own entertainment back then”.

“Like reading books?” Molly asked.

“Well, yes. But there are only so many books you can read,” Mary said.

Uncle Brian, a behavioural psychologist, decided to tackle the question more directly. “Before smartphones, couples had no choice but to talk, make eye contact, and then immediately decide to create another human to fill the awkwardness,” he said. “One power outage and suddenly you’ve got triplets.”

Headline by Anthony Bell

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