All Australian teenagers have been informed by US officials that they are barred from entering America until they are able to produce five years’ worth of social media history. A recent update in visa requirements demands that travelers into the States provide their social media details and a history of posts and likes. The change comes as Phase 1 of Operation: Become A Dystopia, and has already been met with raving support from all state-approved media outlets.

However, as an inadvertent side effect, all Australian teenagers who were recently banned from social media are now being denied entry at the US border.

Jamie Ham, aged 15, was excited for a trip to Disneyland with their family, but was met with disappointment when a US Customs officer took them into a windowless room for seven hours of questioning.

“Unless you can prove that you haven’t liked any memes the administration deemed subversive, then the happiest place on earth we’ll send you to is an El Salvador prison,” said the customs officer.

Jamie is just one of thousands of young Australians currently in custody, suspected of the heinous crime of photoshopping JD Vance to be slightly chubby. Naturally, officers have been given the green light to use lethal force.