Considering going to next year’s World Cup? Really? Even with, you know, Trump and everything? Going over the pro and cons should help you decide not to:

PROS

You’ll get to see your team competing in a major international tournament! They might even win a match, if Scotland, or the Jules Rimet trophy, if England! That’s not a chance you can turn down, no matter what the obstacles!

CONS

Yeah, if you’re allowed in. They’re checking five years of social media, they’re checking emails and you know what they’re checking for, right? Any disparaging mention of Trump. One retweeted meme in 2020 about him losing the election? You’re banned.

PROS

Er… beer’s cheap over there?

CONS

Beer is cheap, but tickets are astronomically expensive. It costs $20,000 to see the Superbowl in the US, so why shouldn’t real football cost the same? Ticket costs will be doubled without notice and if yours are cancelled because JD Vance’s family wants seats? You’ll have no recourse.

PROS

…

CONS

Even if you’re rich and apolitical, Trump’s treating the World Cup, like everything else, as his personal plaything. Playing in Boston? That’s a blue state so at any point the game could be relocated to Montana in an act of petty spite. Your hotel and travel arrangements? Your problem. You must take responsibility for aiding Democrats.

PROS

Please stop asking for pros.

CONS

Also, the chance of being arrested by ICE is very real. Their criteria? You’re a foreigner. Their process? Locking you up indefinitely without telling anyone where you are, then charging you a few thousand to be deported. Reasons have been declared unnecessary.

And all this is taking place in the US, a country famously hostile to football. The wider populace won’t give a shit about you and the MAGA half has now decided all Europeans are decaying race traitors who should be shot for not having guns.

PROS

Never mind, after Russia, Qatar, and the USA, FIFA are treating us to a World Cup in liberal democracies in 2030! Then Saudi Arabia the one after.