I’m moving to Dubai because Britain is a crime-ridden hellhole, definitely not because of tax, by Luisa Zissman

A selfie with Sabrina Carpenter, and other parts of your social media history that will bar you from visiting America

Enforcement officers fine man £250 for shedding skin cells

Godparent assuming he's not really going to have to do anything

Removing your partner's multiple layers: How to make it even remotely sexy

He approaches from behind. Drops his trousers. Keir Starmer is ready to bugger our Brexit

White House Confirms All Future Communications To Be in Comic Sans

Kid With 38 Aunts and Uncles Asks Grandparents How They Used To Spend Their Time Before Social Media

Fears Social Media Ban Could Stop Aussie Teens Receiving Updates From Pete Hegseth on Classified US Military Operations

Reminder: Only 8 More Bruce Lehrmann Court Cases Before Christmas

Qantas Upgrades Earnings Forecast, After Anika Wells Announces Plans for “Work Trip”

TikTok Flooded by New Users All Born on 01/01/1901

Aw: old-school couple met not online, but by cheating on their partners

Super-organised man has laminated wank bank

What it's like in Britain, by a MAGA American who's never been

Hold My Hand, and five other songs you'll hate forever because they were in adverts

Your ex, his hot new girlfriend and the others who should be banned from social media

Man quite pleased to have monogamy level of mountain gorilla

Calling All Crowd Work Lovers - Tune In To Nicole Byer’s “An Evening of Crowd Work”

Luke Heggie Delivers Razor-Sharp Material In Hilarious Comedy Special, “Tiprat”

Everything I did last week, by a man who was too busy to text her back

A plastic elf that shits chocolate: Secret Santa gifts for when you have no idea who the f**k they are

Camilla surprises Britain by coming out in favour of posh horsey shagging

Six Christmas songs, rewritten to be about drinking

Man goes for run in teeth of storm because it's all about self-loathing

Pauline Hanson Falls to Third Place On List of Most Ridiculous One Nation Politicians

300, and other films that are nothing compared to your brave struggle with a cold