Your hard work has paid off, and you’re a proud member of Britain’s professional class. But let's be real, are you a 'twat accountant', 'arsehole doctor', or 'wanker journalist'?

Knobhead solicitor

With a law degree in hand, you opted for a cozy solicitor role instead of the wig-wearing barrister life. Your half-hearted approach to house purchases has left many in limbo, but hey, it's a living.

Twat accountant

Numbers are your game, but excitement isn't. Your little accounting shop crunches numbers for the self-employed, and if the taxman calls, well, you were just advising, right?

Prick teacher

The beauty of teaching is the existing clichés. Whether you're a failed footballer PE teacher or a snooty English teacher, there's a stereotype for you!

Arsehole doctor

Patience isn't your forte, and neither is dealing with patients. From sniffly kids to grumpy seniors, you're quick to send them home with an aspirin, eager for your next golf game.

Bellend civil servant

Oxbridge alumni or not, you’ve found solace in a civil service job-for-life. The perks? Outlasting bosses like Priti Patel and dodging monocle mandates from Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Wanker journalist

The nation might not love you, but who cares? You get to stir the pot with sensational headlines and nab freebies from PR reps. It’s not a bad deal.