In a recent revelation that has left many scratching their heads, the White House announced that taking Panadol Rapid during pregnancy can lead to autism that acts twice as fast as the regular kind. This shocking statement was delivered by Robert Kennedy Jr., who claimed that the medication's active ingredients can cause autism in just 10 minutes.

According to the announcement, the discovery was made after observing Elon Musk crush and snort several Panadol capsules, leading to a questionable correlation. This unique method of medication usage apparently served as evidence enough for the President to step in and assert its validity.

Medical experts, who were understandably alarmed by this 'finding,' reportedly came down with stress-induced migraines. Fortunately, RFK Jr. was on hand to offer them relief with some raw milk and a BioCharger.