After every great disaster, such as Vesuvius, the Boris Johnson administration, or Chelsea signing Winston Bogarde, come questions. But does history really get the answers right? The official enquiry into the Black Death, which plagued Europe from 1346 to 1353, humorously concluded it was caused not by the Yersinia pestis bacterium, but by a celestial alignment involving Saturn, Jupiter, and Mars in Aquarius.

A contemporary source amusingly records: "There are those, misguided and far from God's grace, who claim this is the fault of fleas on rats. Ravings to be dismissed." The monks, having 'studied the heavens,' were convinced a 1345 planetary conjunction and lunar eclipse were the real culprits.

The article humorously mocks medieval beliefs, noting that killing rodents or escaping to rural Croydon wouldn’t help, as it was all about the planets. It continues, "No, this was a conjunction event pure and simple. As it won’t repeat until 1373, we have no further lessons to learn from it."

And so, Britain merrily resumed the Hundred Years War, much to the peasantry's delight. Stay tuned for next week's historical hilarity: when Alan Turing invents the computer as something to be gay on in 1946.