In a bold new initiative to address the Liberal Party’s rapidly declining front bench, Opposition Leader Sussan Ley has announced a limited-time “Bring a Mate” promotion, to encourage MPs to turn up with a friend.

“If you know someone who even vaguely believes in trickle down economics and has ties to the over 70s demographic, bring them along!” Ley said, while standing in front of the entirety of her remaining shadow cabinet – a cardboard cut-out of John Howard and an intern from the Young Liberals.

Under the new promotion, any existing Liberal frontbencher who brings a mate to Parliament will get 20% off the membership fees of their preferred private members club. “No experience necessary. In fact, experience is strongly discouraged,” she said.

Despite concerns that the concept was untested, one Liberal Party insider said the new system was a pragmatic solution: “At this point, if someone walks in wearing a suit and doesn’t immediately scream about net zero, we’re handing them Defence.”

Asked whether the policy risked weakening the party’s credibility, Ley said, “Oh no, that ship sailed a long time ago.”