It's almost a tradition now: visit a Christmas market and declare it 'hell on earth,' perhaps even suggest that Beelzebub himself is manning the churro stall. But before you start casting stones, consider these differences:

A Distinct Lack of Torture

Sure, your feet hurt and you just spent 25 quid on a candle, but this is nothing compared to the medieval tortures of actual hell. If you truly can't tell the difference, a reality check might be in order.

Excuses to Ditch

Flu? Cushions to plump? There are a million excuses to avoid a Christmas market, unlike hell, where an Ocado delivery won't save you from eternal damnation.

90 Minutes Isn't Forever

Even though it may feel endless as you trail behind your partner in search of the perfect gift, 90 minutes at a Christmas market doesn't quite equal eternity in hell.

No Ironic Punishments

Hell loves ironic punishments, but the only irony here is spending a fortune on stuff you don't need. Buying hand-knitted Austrian bedsocks is just a questionable financial decision, not a devilish scheme.

No Confusing Morality

Christmas markets don't have the baffling moral codes of hell. The only mystery is how they can charge £12 for 'poutine' that tastes suspiciously like chips with gravy.

No Demons

While the prices might feel demonic, actual demons are notably absent. Just imagine what they'd charge for hot lead through a funnel!

Unexpected Wins

In hell, there's no silver lining. At a Christmas market, you might just find that perfect gift at a reasonable price, and hey, shopping's done!