A GLUT of predictable Christmas TV fare awaits viewers, so the channels could at least liven it up with some explicit – but tasteful – nudity. Here’s which shows would be radically improved.

Nigella: At My Table

Nigella’s career has been based on making food sexy, so some nudity would be a lovely ‘thank you’ to the fans. Nothing too explicit, just a few shots of nipples and buttocks as she coquettishly makes garlic and parmesan potato gratin.

Call the Midwife

What better way to leaven weighty social issues like teenage pregnancy and drug addiction than with some playful soft-core nudity? Hot nurses are a staple of Britain’s most respected dramas. Plus, Jenny Agutter has valuable experience playing a naked nurse in An American Werewolf in London.

Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl

Long-running shows need to keep things fresh, and the answer is: claymation erotica. Wallace and Gromit naked would be an adult side to their characters we haven’t seen yet.

The Night Manager

Suave posho Tom Hiddleston’s many female fans would love to see him in the buff. This could be achieved naturally by having his character change careers to running a nudist resort.

The Celebrity Apprentice Christmas Special

There’d be something for everyone here, with nudity from former Gladiators hunk Matt Morsia and hot Irish TV presenter Angela Scanlon. This would delight Sir Alan’s many haters as he is forced to recite his catchphrases with his privates on display.

EastEnders

EastEnders could ramp up the horror for viewers with random nude scenes featuring Phil Mitchell in the shower or a tight close-up of Max Branning’s privates.

James Martin's New Year's Day

ITV hasn’t pushed the boat out this year, with choices like Love Actually. There is no demand to see James Martin naked, but it might add novelty to watching him make turkey curry.