BOSTON—In a satirical twist, NFL scientists are taking a step forward in understanding CTE by dissecting the brain of a pro football. According to lead surgeon Lisa Cantwell, the football, which endured just one NFL season, is already showing signs of significant cognitive decline. The damage to its frontal lobes, from being consistently slammed into the turf, has impaired its memory and emotional stability. Cantwell notes that footballs often experience depression or even 'suicide,' yet the exact reasons remain elusive. These brave footballs, by donating their brains, contribute to protecting the next generation of pigskins. Cantwell humorously suggests a league-wide helmet rule for footballs.