The divorce proceedings between the Liberal and National parties have taken an amusing turn as they squabble over who gets to keep Gina Rinehart, their beloved mining billionaire. Lawyers from both sides are passionately arguing their case, with a Liberal Party negotiator humorously suggesting, "We hung out with her way more. You can have the economic policy, we’ll keep Gina," only for a Nationals representative to point out that an economic policy didn’t actually exist.

One mediator mused whether Rinehart could be split up, but both parties quickly dismissed the idea. A temporary compromise was reached where Rinehart would spend sitting weeks with the Liberals and weekends with the Nationals.

Meanwhile, in a comical twist, the Liberals will gain custody of the piece of coal that Scott Morrison famously took into Parliament, while the Nationals will receive seven imaginary nuclear power plants in 2050.

More developments are expected as this political drama unfolds...