Japan’s new prime minister Sanae Takaichi has cleverly avoided an awkward diplomatic incident by humorously pre-warning the nation’s whalers that the oversized blowhole drifting into Japanese territory is actually the American president.

“We appreciate the enthusiasm of our whaling community, but we must emphasize that unfortunately this large orange blubbery mammal is not part of the North Pacific whale quota,” the Prime Minister said in a statement.

Takaichi sought to help whalers by noting some key differences between the two specimens. “Whales are known for their low-frequency vocalizations, whereas Donald typically emits a high-pitch whine. And while the whale’s blowhole spouts water, the US President exclusively spouts bullshit”.

Additional advice noted that whales tend to exist in deep water whereas Trump is incredibly shallow.

Crews were advised to maintain a safe distance, as the specimen is known to thrash violently when challenged.

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Headline by Anthony Bell