Politician Bob Katter has threatened to punch the website Ancestry.com after it reported that he was 25% Lebanese, on his paternal grandfather's side. Much to the disappointment of Katter — formerly Khittar — a thorough DNA test from the popular ancestry service revealed that the senator, who plans to attend an anti-immigration march, has a multicultural background.

“Oi, how dare you! I’ve knocked out websites for saying less than that,” Katter shouted at his computer screen. “My family has been here for 140 years! And you have the audacity to suggest one of my ancestors came here 141 years ago? I oughta sock you in your port where the sun don’t shine.”

Following the threat, the website quickly updated its results, instead identifying that Katter was actually “100% a deep-fried dipshit”.

Katter has vowed that he will address the matter by building a time machine, going back to the past, and killing his grandfather before he can migrate to Australia. Scientists curious about time paradoxes have encouraged this endeavour, and added that Katter’s views are well-suited to the past.

Later in a press conference, Katter warned that people with foreign backgrounds are dangerous: “Just today one of them threatened to punch a journalist!”